The History of Cool and Tough, Part II: USNA

Certain students at the United States Naval Academy adapted the list of "How to Become a Cool and Tough Fraternity Man" into something that they could use as a guide. The particular "midshipmen" that did this were Dave Boodakian, Phil Suchyta, Ted Driscoll, and Eric Montgomery. The lists are broken down as rules for freshmen (plebe), sophomores (youngster), juniors (2/c), and seniors (firstie).

"How To Be a Cool and Tough Plebe

1. Tell people how cool and tough you were in high school. Make sure everyone knows how many touchdowns you scored senior year, and how many girls you got with at the mad keggers you're buddies threw. The only acceptable answers for the question "what position did you play" are quarterback, running back, full back or linebacker. All these positions are reserved for people who are cool and tough.

2. Being ratey is cool and tough. The coolest plebes are the ones that rate what they skate. The most important thing to remember about being a ratey plebe is to tell everyone the things you get away with. You may or may not have done these things, but telling people that you do them anyway will give them the impression that you are cool and tough.

3. Be a varsity athlete. This term may extend from football player to water polo manager. Hey, at least you don't have to drill. Going to drill is neither cool nor tough. Because you are a varsity athlete you can brag about all the cool and tough MO's you go on, and how many upperclass you are friends with. You are excused from wednesday evening formation, which means you don't have to get in uniform. Most cool and tough athletes eat in Dahlgren but Chinese take-out is an acceptable alternative. King Hall and Cluck-U chicken are neither cool nor tough.

4. Never go to saturday morning training. All kinds of company training are neither cool nor tough. Anyone who goes is either a Joe or just happens to be up that early. Always find ways to get out of training, even if it involves bending the truth about scheduled events (see "Be a varsity athlete").

5. Always brag about how cool and tough your squad is. When in Chemistry class (and not asleep), tell other plebe friends how your squad is so chill and you never have to know any rates. This may not be true, but they will never know. Play it off like you are the reason your squad is so chill, and if you weren't so cool and tough, they would flame on you.

6. Never request permission for anything. 98% of the upperclass won't yell at you, and only half of them may even care. Let's face it, they are just gonna say yes anyway, why not just go ahead and do it. Even if someone happens to care, it's not like they aren't going to let you become a youngster.

7. Put cool and tough pictures of high school on your corkboard. There is no better way to prove you are cool and tough than by photographic evidence. Pictures of you drinking with buddies or with crazy-hot chicks are a necessity. When your guy friends ask about the smokin' girls in your pictures you can say something like, "Yeah, I hooked up with her a bunch of times, it was pretty cool... and tough."

8. Always complain about the girls. You have gotten with so many hot girls that seeing the lack of hotties at the Naval Academy is a gross injustice. Whenever possible you should comment on the idea of "dark siding". Dating another midshipman is never cool or tough, no matter how cool she may seem. Dark-siding is for quitters."



"How to be a Cool and Tough youngster

1. Spoon plebes the first time you meet them. Training is not cool, or tough. You are not a middle-aged man and don't need to be called "Mr. Cool", or "Mr. Tough", "dude" or "man" will sufice. When talking about plebes to your youngster friends, it is always cool and tough to refer to the plebes by their first names, especially if your friends have no idea who you're talking about.

2. Always tell plebes how cool and tough you were as a plebe. Plebes are impressed by anything, and they will believe anything. Tell them things like "I was so cool and tough, I walked out of Bancroft(never call it "Mother-B") in civies, drunk and on a friday while all my non-tough and cool friends were shining shoes".

3. Wear cool and tough PE gear. Now that you're a youngster and you can wear un-reg PE gear, the possibilities are limitless. Always spend at least 10 minutes planning out what cool,un-reg PE gear you will wear that night. Examples of cool and tough attire include but are not limited to, winter working blue pants with flip-flops and a wife-beater, sweat pants with a tight undershirt and worn out sneakers (PT gear), and anything that has your varsity team's name on it. Slippers and blue-rims are neither cool nor tough. It is cool and tough to own as many underground tee-shirts as possible. The underground tee-shirt guy is cool and tough. Anyone who wishes to be cool and tough must own at least 4 items from underarmour. Underarmour will make anyone look cool and tough.

4. Excersize your right to carry-on. Now that you don't have to slime around the P-ways, there are plenty of other options available to you. A cool and tough youngster may consider a razor scooter or a skateboard. You don't actually need to be good at riding you just need to make a lot of noise as you skate your way to sign taps every night. It is also cool and tough to make sure all the plebes see you while you show off your newfound freedom.

5. Have cool and tough uniform standards. People who spend time making their uniform look good are not cool and tough. Ironing military creases is time you could have been spending arranging you run-reg PE gear for that night. For youngsters only insignia on your winter working blues shirt is necessary. Any other insignia, especially on ike jackets, raincoats, p-coats and overcoats are neither cool nor tough. Wearing a scarf with your overcoat is never, ever, cool or tough. The words shirt stay should not even be uttered in your presence. If it is, it is cool and tough to roll your eyes, look up and say something like, "maybe shirt stays will be cool and tough when mustangs go out of style!"

6. Give cool and tough come-arounds. Everyone knows come-arounds are not cool and tough, but if you have to do them, there are ways of ensuring you are cool and tough. First, never hold your come-around in any type of uniform, even reg PE gear is questionable. Second, look at the pro-book like it's written in greek, or any other cool and tough language that you don't know. Say things like, "wow, I was way too cool and tough to actually look at any of this shit when I was a plebe. Third, assume your plebe knows the whole book and you are just wasting his time. If he gets a question wrong just play it off like that kind of question would never be asked anyway. "Ok well you don't know the mission? They never ask that crap anyway...""



"How to be a Cool and Tough 2/c

1. Never train plebes. Training plebes is not cool and tough. Though it may be your job, there are plenty of other homo's to do it for you. Whenever possible you should make commments about your classmates who train, and say things like, "wow, what a Joe" in front of as many people possible.

2. Civilian clothes are always cool and tough. You can wear civilian clothes, and they will make you cool and tough. Even on days where you can't leave because of duty, civilian clothes must still be worn. Having a key chain that you can twirl around your finger is also cool and tough. After coming back from a weekend on Sunday, it is cool and tough to stay in civies until you go to bed, it doesn't matter that you're not on liberty anymore.

3. Only play a sport if the sport is cool and tough. Everyone knows that as a plebe, doing any kind of sport is cool and tough. Now that you have privileges, a car and more weekends, sports will just take time away from your busy schedule of boozing and picking up chicks. The only acceptable sports to play are football (not sprint), basketball,lacrosse and rugby - because they can drink a lot. Other sports such as sailing and swimming are not cool and tough. Rowing crew is about as cool and tough as a bag full of dicks.

4. PT like you're cool and tough. Everyone has to PT. To make sure you are always cool and tough while doing PT, you should make sure you get some things straight. To be tough, you have to be strong and have big muscles. The only way to get big is to go to the gym, and the only cool gym is 'MacD' (unless you can go to Ricketts). You should never be in regulation PE gear in MacD and having tee-shirts that your little brother should be wearing is always enouraged. Doing pull-ups in the hall on the metal bars is not cool and tough.

5. Drink like your cool and tough. Taken from the original webiste (I couldn't have said it any better)
"This is by far the most important thing to remember if you ever want to be cool and tough. The more you drink and the more you talk about how much you and your friends drink, the cooler and tougher you will become. Also, don't be afraid to do some really dumb shit when you're drunk. Doing dumb shit makes for good stories and good stories make you cool and tough. Especially good stories about what you did while you were drunk. Never puke. Cool and tough people never throw up. If you feel like you're going to throw up, just do some blow or something. Also, the cool and tough man should never pass out. However, since passing out sometimes cannot be controlled, if you must pass out, do so in a place where everyone can see you and think about how cool and tough you are. Every once in awhile, piss yourself when you are passed out to show them that you just don't care because you are cool and tough.""



"How to be a Cool and Tough firstie

1. Don't hold a billet. A true cool and tough firstie is an MIR both semesters. Let yourJoe classmatess have the stripes and run the company. Stripes mean responsibilityy, and that can only get in the way of you getting drunkand hookingg up with girls. If you have to have a billet, make sure itis somethingng like wardroom, so you can be in charge of spending the company's money on beer for tailgaters.

2. Go out every night. It is your duty to go out every night, even if you've got homework, EI,meetings, or anything else to do. That other stuff isn't import. What is that important is that you make an ass out of yourself in DTA five nights a week (and Wednesdays at the O club). A cool and tough firstie knows where all the drink specials are for every night of the week.

3. Don't go to formations. This is just one of those perks of being a firstie, and you deserve to take advantage of it. Bully your platoon sergeant into marking you present for every formation, whether or not you're actually there. This is especially important for morning formations. Since you're a firstie with all that liberty, you'll need the extra sleep time in the morning to recover from all the beer you drank the night before. When you finally do get up, be sure to brag to all your friends about how drunk you got last night, and don't bother taking a shower or shaving before you go to class.

4. Always get a good parking space. This applies even if you're rolling in through Gate 1 Sunday. Even though it's hopeless, take a loop around Farragut and Dewey trying to find a space. Remember, if you're smart, you've got your platoon sergeant marking you present, so you have time to spare. Finally settle on a parking space at Hospital Point, then spend the rest of the night bitching to anyone who'll listen about having to walk all the way back from out there. Or be "that guy" that parks on the grass or somewhere where it's obvious you're not allowed to, then bitch when you get your stickers scraped.

5. Have an apartment in town. You've gotta have a place to have your crazy parties and hook up with all the girls you do, right? Of course you're not supposed to do it, but this is one of those rules that only the pussies follow.

6. Make the right service selection. The only cool and tough service selection is Navy pilot. Your stereotypes about all submariners being gay and all Marines being uptight pricks are absolutely right. The only way you're going to keep impressing girls once you get out of here is if you can tell them you fly a jet. And if your low OOM keeps you from getting pilot, remember, it's not your fault. Those losers who studied and played the Man's game for four years are tools, and besides, they won't have four years worth of cool and tough stories like you will. In a few circumstances, SWO is an acceptable alternative, but only if you're so cool and tough that you can't handle wasting more than five years of your life in the Fleet. "

The History of Cool and Tough, Part I

Thus far in my search for becoming truly Cool and Tough, I have been able to identify the following as the earliest usage of the phrase "cool and tough" to describe a way of life.

I think that it is important to note, however, that this guide is specific to being a "Fraternity Man." For instance, a Cool and Tough millionaire might drive a Ferrari, rather than an SUV. This list does serve as a good example about how someone with individuality and confidence can be Cool and Tough.

"How to Become a Cool and Tough Fraternity Man

Here at Ole Miss we have a longstanding tradition of a strong Greek system. Many men will come to the university wondering, "How can I ever fill the shoes of many of the great men who have come before me?" Well, I've come up with a list of guidelines that, if properly followed will ensure your success and happiness here at the University of Mississippi. Also, I would like to point out that I AM GREEK. I'm a member of a "Big Five" fraternity, so save any comments containing the phrase "at the Union."

1. Dress Cool and Tough--To become cool and tough you must present an image of coolness and toughness. Cool and tough people spend incredible amounts of money to look like they bought their clothes at a yard sale. Whatever you buy, it has to cost a lot of money. If it doesn't, then it's not cool. Or tough. Cool and tough people only wear four kinds of footwear: Wallabes, New Balance tennis shoes (no socks), expensive hiking boots (Vasque, etc.), and flip-flops. If you wear any other kind of shoes, you are neither cool nor tough. The only hats cool and tough people wear are golf visors. No other headgear is acceptable. Also, all clothing must be wrinkled, un-tucked (or half-tucked), and have a general sloppiness about them.

2. The Cool and Tough Dating Life--Have lots of sex with lots of chicks. Cool and tough people are always out scoring. The best thing to do is get really drunk (see rule 3) and go out and find some god-awful chick you would normally never even talk to, then try and find a way to get into her panties. Don't worry if your friends will make fun of you for having sex with this girl. This is not an issue. Always remember, quantity not quality. The more sex you have, the better. This will make you cool and tough. It is cool and tough to have a girlfriend. Some people will argue this, but it's true. However, the cool and tough girlfriend does not fit the standard definition of a girlfriend. Cool and tough people never love their girlfriends. In fact, you don't even have to like her. It is only important that she's in a good sorority. This way, you'll get invited to her sorority functions and be able to try and have sex with all of her friends. Also, you'll get T-shirts from these parties and the more sorority party T-shirts you have, the cooler and tougher you will be. Do not be discouraged if your girlfriend has already banged pretty much everyone you know. This will only make her better.

3. Drink Like You're Cool and Tough--This is by far the most important thing to remember if you ever want to be cool and tough. The more you drink and the more you talk about how much you and your friends drink, the cooler and tougher you will become. Also, don't be afraid to do some really dumb shit when you're drunk. Doing dumb shit makes for good stories and good stories make you cool and tough. Especially good stories about what you did while you were drunk. Never puke. Cool and tough people never throw up. If you feel like you're going to throw up, just do some blow or something. Also, the cool and tough man should never pass out. However, since passing out sometimes cannot be controlled, if you must pass out, do so in a place where everyone can see you and think about how cool and tough you are. Every once in awhile, piss on yourself when you're passed out, to show them that you just don't care because you are cool and tough.

4. The Cool and Tough Automobile--Cool and tough people only drive sport utility vehicles. This is not negotiable. The perfect cool and tough vehicle might be a brand new Chevy Yukon with personalized plates, your fraternity letters plastered all over the rear of the car, and a Ducks Unlimited sticker on one of the windows. Another example of a cool and tough automobile might be a Toyota Four Runner in which case a Widespread Panic or Phish sticker may be more appropriate than the Ducks Unlimited sticker. Also, cool and tough people have sunglasses hanging from their rear mirror as well as some (but not too much) mud on the bottom of the vehicle.

5. Cool and Tough Music--Cool and tough people only listen to two bands: Widespread Panic and/or Phish. It is cool and tough to talk about how much you like the Grateful Dead, but you don't have to actually listen to them. It is extremely important to have as many of the most obscure Widespread Panic and/or Phish bootlegs as you can possibly find. As you play the bootlegs, narrate to your listeners how many narcotics/psychedelics you were able to force into your body throughout the course of the particular concert you are listening to. Also, you are never to refer to the concerts as "concerts." The cool and tough terminology is "Show," i.e., "That was a bad-ass Panic Show, man. Gee, I'm really cool. And tough."

6. Doing Drugs Like You're Cool and Tough--Cool and tough people take lots of drugs. It is important that you can handle your drugs. It is important that you can handle your drugs if you want to become cool and tough. Cool and tough drugs include (but are not limited to): Ecstasy, LSD, Blow, any and all pills, nitrous oxide (or any common substitute), and the most important cool and tough drug, marijuana (see rule 7). Cool and tough people are always doing some or all of these drugs at Shows, parties, football games, or just when hanging around the fraternity house on a Tuesday afternoon. No matter what people tell you, drugs will most certainly make you cool and tough.

7. The Cool and Tough Way to Smoke Pot--We've already established that it is definitely cool and tough to smoke marijuana. However, there is a method of doing this that will make you all the more cool and tough. Cool and tough people always say they smoke really good pot, whether it's all that good or not. This "good pot" is most commonly referred to as Nugs, Dank, KB, Dodja, or Nadge. Also, cool and tough people spend a great deal of money on different forms of paraphernalia such as glass pipes, one-hitters, and bongs. Refer to these materials lovingly as your "piece." Only smoke pot with other cool and tough people. Have arguments and debates over who smokes the most pot. Also, always offer it to girls, no matter how straight they look. They may want to smoke, you never know. Secretly, they want to be cool and tough, too. They just don't like to admit it, sometimes.

8. Cool and Tough on Campus--The cool and tough man never walks alone. In fact, he should strive to surround himself with other specimens of coolness and toughness. The cool and tough man should do everything in his power to observe and mimic actions, speech patterns, and the general demeanor of everyone around them. The cool and tough man would never try to be a special or unique butterfly. He knows the ancient secrets of coolness and toughness like unoriginality and social paranoia. The cool and tough man should always have a slight grin, conveying an image of total control and enlightenment. And he should be ready at any moment to belittle anyone he doesn't think is cool or tough.

9. Cool and Tough Out on the Town--The first thing to remember here is the party for a cool and tough person begins way before the party for everyone else. Start drinking and ingesting narcotics sometime around one in the afternoon and keep a steady pace until it's time to go to the bar. Once you have reached the bar, make sure everyone there knows just how fucked up you are. This way, they'll know that you are in fact cool and tough. Some people will tell you to "be a gentleman" and buy drinks for all girls you talk to. This is wrong. The cool and tough person only buys drinks for girls he knows he can probably sleep with later. Generally ignore all other girls. They are of no use to the cool and tough man. After the bar closes, the cool and tough person must always drive home. A cool and tough person would NEVER allow someone else to take them home from the bar, because doing so would mean admitting that you were too fucked up to drive yourself home. And that isn't very cool or tough.

10. Cool and Tough on Game day--While it's cool and tough to have a date for game day, it is extremely important that by the end of the weekend, you have either: a) left her or b) driven her to hate you and your cool and tough antics. This way, you can have sex with some other chick at the party to remind her (and yourself) how cool and tough you are. If for some reason you manage not to lose and/or alienate your date and you wake up next to her on Sunday morning, you make it very clear that no matter what sexual acts you performed the night before, it DOES NOT constitute dating. It will be difficult for her to grasp this. On game days, cool and tough people should already be drunk by the time everyone else wakes up. In fact, the coolest and toughest thing you can do is stay up all night drinking and toot a bunch of blow before you go out tailgating. If you should decide to actually go into the football game rather than just sitting around and drinking, it is very important that you think of super-creative ways to smuggle whiskey into the stadium. That way, later you can tell everyone how you did it and they'll think you're cool. And tough.

11. It is important to note here that not everyone is cut out to be cool and tough. Although, many of these skills can be learned, truly being cool and tough requires a certain degree of natural talent that not everyone is born with. One of the best ways to become cool and tough is to hone your skills by surrounding yourself with other cool and tough people. Be these people. It is certainly neither cool nor tough to be an individual. Constantly strive for the same level of mediocrity of all those around you. However, it is important to remember that though these people may also be cool and tough, they will never be as cool and tough as you are. Some of the people in your fraternity may be cool and tough, but many of them aren't. So don't hang out with them. It is also important to remember that being cool does not necessarily make one tough, nor does being tough automatically make one cool. You should strive to find the proper balance between the two and become simply known as a Cool and Tough person."